Best Survival Machete Features / Buyer's Guide - Machete Review (Fails)

Best Survival Machete Features (Review & Buyers Guide): Worst 3 “Machete Fails”!

He stands in the middle of the dark room, knowing he’s about to face several men in a fight to the death.

He’s calm — so calm that his attackers look at each other, suddenly unsure.

It’s far too late to back out now, however.

They know it…

He knows it…

And when he quotes the bible and draws the machete he carries on his back, there’s about to be blood on the floor.

In furious, almost graceful combat, he slashes, stabs, and otherwise takes down every last one of his enemies.

He’s the last man standing… the lone survivor.

You probably recognize that fight scene from the movie The Book Of Eli starring Denzel Washington.

Movies like this, and television shows like The Walking Dead have made machetes all the rage these days with survival-minded folks — and for good reason.

Machetes aren’t just great weapons; they’re also incredibly powerful survival tools.

However, DON’T buy a machete until you fully understand these…

3 Big “Machete Fails” Most Preppers Fall Prey To…

3 Big “Machete Fails” Most Preppers Fall Prey To…

Best Survival Machete Features (Review & Buyer's Guide): Top 3 Machete Fails
Best Survival Machete Features (Review & Buyer’s Guide): Top 3 Machete Fails

Look, every knifemaker and manufacturer out there has come out with some kind of machete, right?

They’re all looking to capitalize on the surge of interest.

(In fact, Wal-Mart recently upgraded their “house brand” machete from a clunky piece of junk… to a slightly NICER piece of junk!)

You really need to be careful about what you buy, so here are the 3 biggest “fail” warnings I can share with you for when you go machete shopping…

Fail #1: The “Tacticool” Wasteland Warrior

Too many people buy machetes that “look cool.”

The Book of Eli machete is a good example of this.

One of my buddies bought a replica of that machete. . .

. . . and that’s exactly what it was: a replica!

It’s made for putting on the zombie trophy shelf next to the heads you’ve decapitated.

It’s not made for actual use, and it’s both fragile and horribly balanced.

Remember, just because something looks really cool, or even looks like something you THINK a soldier or “operator” might use, it isn’t necessarily functional.

If it looks like something out of a video game, that’s the ONLY place where you’ll want to be using it.

Fail #2: Putting Form Before Function

This might seem like a stupid question (at first), but…

WHY do you want a machete?!

There are different types, sizes, and shapes of machetes and not all are best for survival purposes.

For example, if you’re just using your machete for clearing branches from trees or chopping up some kindling for a fire, “almost” any old machete you find at Wal-Mart for five bucks will do.

But I (personally) take my life – and my family’s lives – more seriously than to think that this is all I might need a machete for in a REAL life-or-death scenario.

For me, I consider things like:

  • Will I need to hack through wooden beams or concrete fast enough to save a family member trapped under rubble?
  • Will I need to hack off a steel padlock or chain to bypass a gate halting my evacuation? (This scenario just happened and multiple people were burned alive when fleeing a CA wildfire in a convoy of vehicles!)
  • Will I need to use it as a weapon?

Ok, I get it… not everyone is as serious about the equipment they use to protect their family as I am.

But frankly, thinking any other way just doesn’t make sense to me when the people I love the most in this world are depending on me.

I’m thinking you feel the same way, am I right?

Anyway, a real life survival machete requires MORE than just chopping a few limbs – which brings me to. . .

Fail #3: Falling For “Big Brand” Cheap Steel

I carried a machete the entire time I was in the military – including into combat.

I’ve used a machete in deserts… jungles… mountains… arctic conditions… urban cities… you name it.

By far, the most challenging of those was the urban combat.

Now you might not think that a “military-grade” machete is necessary to chop through not just wood – but also concrete and even metal.

In fact, you probably didn’t even know that a machete COULD be strong enough to do something like that, eh?

Well, truth is, not all machetes CAN… and it all comes down to the cheap steel that even the “big name blade makers” out there use for their brands.

Most either use cheap-ass metal with a “tacti-cool” machete… or they try to use the same steel that they use for their knives – which may be good for a pocket folder… but we’re NOT talking about a “knife”.

That’s why, when I designed our Guardian machete, I made sure it was made from top-grade, heat-treated 1095 steel.

I don’t know of anyone else using this high-quality steel, and I understand why: It’s hard to work with… and it’s expensive.

But frankly, the difference in performance is MASSIVE!

This is SO CRITICAL in a survival situation because it allows you to “maximize your strength and power”.

I mean, face it…

You might be tired, even exhausted.

You might need to do the work of multiple people yourself, especially when clearing debris or breaching obstacles.

You might have to fight someone who is bigger and stronger than you. . . or fight a whole LOT of people who outnumber you.

A weaker machete means you’ll tire faster and perhaps not even “finish the job”.

But a strong machete allows you to do more work with less effort, and transforms you into a powerful protector.

In fact, you can see it for yourself with a side-by-side comparison with my old U.S. Army machete in this “torture test” I shot with some of the challenges you might face in a REAL survival scenario.

Bottom line… it brings me real peace of mind knowing I have a tool that can keep my family and I alive when it matters.

You’ll sleep easier when you can say the same.

Happy “machete shopping”! 🙂

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