Who wouldn’t want a shiny little sports car armed with oil slick dump tanks… machine-gun headlights… and surface-to-air missiles in the pop-up trunk?
(It was actually on my Christmas list last year, but all I got was a damn reindeer sweater instead.)
Now while you may not feel threatened by terrorists or sinister bald geniuses with armies of evil henchmen, the truth is having a vehicle that’s… shall we say “optimized” for escape and evasion can come in handy.
I mean, even when society ISN’T mired in a full-out “collapse”… threats like murder, kidnapping, hijacking, road-rage, and being mobbed by a violent protest out of control certainly CAN happen.
Unlike political dignitaries and our own President, you can’t afford a whiz-bang James Bond bulletproof “spy car” to help you escape a dangerous situation.
Or can you?
You Don’t Need To Be An International Spy To Outwit Society’s Evil-Doers In A High-Speed Vehicle Chase And…
Here Are 5 Things You Can Do To “James Bond” Your Car For Escape & Evasion Driving…
1. Install “Run-Flat” Tires

“Run-flat” tires look and perform just like regular tires, but have a solid self-supporting ring system that your car will ride on if you get a flat tire.
(Beats the hell out of pulling over on a speeding highway to risk your life slapping a tiny little “donut” spare on your jalopy, eh?”)
With run-flat tires, even if you do get a blowout (or Dr. Evil manages to shoot out a tire with his headlight machine guns), you can still maneuver your vehicle out of the area without shooting sparks from your rims like you’re the runaway knucklehead in an episode of “Cops”.
These tires are a little bit more pricey than regular tires, but not so expensive that the average person can’t afford them and major brands should have them in your vehicle’s size.
2. Add 3M Shielding To Your Side Windows
Protestors and road-rage drivers love to bust out vehicle windows!
Besides the obvious threat of flying shards of glass wedging into your eyeballs, with your window shattered, you’re now dangerously exposed to your enemies on the outside of your vehicle.
From there, it’s only a matter of time before you’re struck or pulled through the window and dragged through the street.
Adding a layer of see-through protective film to your windows won’t make them bulletproof… but they can help stop an out-of-control rioter from smashing out your windows with a brick, buying you some time to get the hell out of Dodge.
You can buy the film to do it yourself (3M makes a good brand), or talk to any window-tint retailer about having it done for you.
3. Get A Sun Roof
Hanging out the top of a vehicle’s sunroof isn’t reserved for only prom night hooligans in limousines.
Ceiling access to the world outside your vehicle cabin can give you a strategic location to fight from.
If you’re accompanied by a daring passenger who can act as your “gunner”, they can quickly pop up out of the top of your vehicle to foil the plans of your pursuer.
It also offers a more aligned “jettison-point” for this next little nasty…
4. Have Giant Nuts
True story…
When I was young, a road-rage driver tried to force my family off of a bridge.
My father grabbed a giant deep-sea lead sinker and threw it at the guy’s passenger window next to us and it shattered, forcing the guy to pull over as we got away.
This was all I needed to see the power that “small, heavy, metal objects” can have in a dangerous scenario like this!
For you, go to your local hardware store and pick up about 5-10 of the biggest nuts and bolts you can find.
With a vehicle hot on your tail, hoisting a handful of these babies out of your window or sunroof in the direction of the vehicle chasing you could throw off their navigation or – if you’re lucky – strike their windshield to disrupt their vision.
5. Pack A Hand-Held Spotlight
When I lived in a gang-infested hole in New Mexico, I discovered the power of using “bright light” as a weapon…
One night when some bangers decided to stage a party in the middle of the road in front of my house (at about 2am!), I threw on my skivies and slipped unnoticed to the other side of the road so they couldn’t tell from which house I came.

I then pointed my 1,000,000 candle power hand-held spotlight directly into their eyes while authoritatively telling them they needed to “move on”.
Since they couldn’t see who or how many of me there was – nor what other secrets I had in store for them (my other hand was on the grip of my gun) – they mumbled a few empty threats but made the wise decision to get back in their vehicles and took their party elsewhere.
Nowadays that flashlight technology has improved immensely, my small EDC flashlight can pack just about as much of a punch in a much smaller package.
For escape and evasion driving, shining your light into the eyes of a pursuing driver trying to run you down will either force him to give up… or chance an accident.
A Serious Word Of Caution Here…
I really have to emphasize that many of these escape & evasion tactics could get someone killed – perhaps even an innocent bystander.
In other words, take this advice as “for entertainment purposes only” and don’t go trying these out on your way through the local McDonalds drive-thru.
But hey… if you’re butt’s ever in a sling and you have a car full of rowdy hooligans trying to push you off the road or cause your vehicle to crash in hot pursuit, then in my book, all bets are off if you feel your life is in jeopardy.
3 Responses
A drop mirror for the back window-SPECIAL RETALIATION for the wingnut with 100,000,000 lumens on thier lightbar used solely to blind other drivers.
I like that one!
Jason R. Hanson